


I'm Trying

by HCeIeste



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Anxiety, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 21:30:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4640871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HCeIeste/pseuds/HCeIeste
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peridot has an episode with her anxiety disorder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Trying

"Peri, please come to bed..." Lapis whined as she slumped on to the couch laying her head on the others lap and resting her eyes. 

It was half past two in the morning, frigid, dark, and miserable the bed had always seemed and Lapis would deny it but she hated sleeping alone. Peridot had an addiction that she didn't quite enjoy nor encouraged, whether it be video games or work it always seemed to be priority. Every day after her shift Peridot would come home and go straight to her consoles or computer, not even bothering batting an eye at Lapis. Completely desist from the world at hand. The only time she'd ever talk to her was when she asked for snacks, dinner or an occasional massage. Lapis knew it was inevitable but she did it for the interaction, any interaction. The more she thought about it the more she felt like she was slipping away again and it scared her.

Peridot frantically mashed buttons on her controller, shouting obscene words into her headset while constant flashes and explosions reminisced over the screen. She was completely unphased by the the other woman who was now snuggled up to her stomach. 

The volume was excessive causing Lapis to wince at the piercing noises and bright lights.  
She looked up and tried to get her attention again "Please?..." 

A few hours had passed before Peridot finally retired from the game, she sat up and stretched her arms and legs,letting out a wild yawn. Her restricted movement lead her to look down to see a sound Lapis, her face was stained with dry tears which explained the puffy eyes. Peridot’s stomach immediately seized, not realizing how long she had been there, not wanting to think of how long she’d been there. Last time this happened Lapis nearly walked out the door with everything on her back. Peridot’s chest by now was hollow and cold, her head pounding, splitting, just thinking of every possibility. She cupped the back of Lapis's head ever so gently to shimmy from under her and laid her head back on the couch as she staggered to the bathroom. 

Throwing her glasses mercilessly on the floor she splashed cold water on her face and started her usual breathing exercises. They started out smooth, she made sure to count in between each interval,deep and slow. The more cluttered her mind became the more her body started losing the battle, her body shaking uncontrollably, her breaths turning into sharp and erratic waves. She was only barely able to hold herself up until she gripped the edges of the sink and slammed her eyes shut trying to ease the tension. For once she didn’t want to rely on her medication. It worked for a brief second but as soon as she opened her eyes she became dizzy, cursing at herself as she stumbled backwards into the door and caught the handle. Giving up the rest of the strength she had ,she slid to the floor and curled up in a fetal position on the floor. Teeth clenched and knuckles white, while her entire body was an inferno and her hands and feet were a numbing cold. The only sense of relief she found was the coolness of the tiles on her forehead that only relaxed her body in the slightest. 

Peridot didn’t know how long it had been before she was startled by a hand brushing against her back. It wasn’t as comforting as she’d hope but she slightly eased into the rhythmical pattern. Lapis looked down at her worried “Can you talk yet?” 

Peridot tried her best but was inaudible as her voice shook with her entire body. Her breaths were still biting at her chest with every inhale but was gradually getting warmer. Even if Lapis had seen her episodes over and over she hated getting caught in the middle of one. It was embarrassing to be so vulnerable and she hated it.

Lapis continued to caress Peridot’s back knowing there was no other way she could help. Some time had passed before Lapis saw Peridot’s breathing begin to pan out, she rushed to the living room and came back with a dampened cloth and some water “Sit up.” 

Peridot followed instructions, sitting up and leaning against the wall, her face drenched with sweat that receded into her hair and shirt “Thanks” she mumbled as Lapis handed her the water bottle. 

Lapis sat down in front of her and held the cloth over her forehead, she used her free hand to find the other’s, intertwining their fingers. She looked back at Peridot a little sternly, she hadn’t had seen an episode in a while “So?”

Peridot chugged down the water first,mostly wanting to ignore the question but she was also way too dehydrated. Once she was done she let out deep breath and looked away a bit ashamed “You. I mean...I don’t know.” she shrugged letting go of Lapis's hand and bringing her knees to her chest “I’m sorry.” 

Lapis gave a look of confusion “About what?”

Peridot huffed, frustrated more at herself than anything “I don’t know, it looked like you were crying and I was a jerk and-” She let out a deep sigh and rubbed at her temples “It just got me thinking of what happened last time.”

“You’ve improved a lot though.”

“Not enough.”

Lapis leaned in for tender kiss, happy that Peridot returned it with such eagerness as if she needed it. As they parted Lapis smirked and flicked Peridot's forehead “Just come to bed next time. I missed you.” she found Peridot’s glasses on the floor and placed them back perfectly on the bridge of her nose.

Peridot rubbed at her nose and slowly made it up on her feet, holding out her hands to bring Lapis up with her “I’m gonna shower.” 

“You sure you're okay?”

Peridot gave a menial nod before she started pushing Lapis out of the bathroom.

Lapis snorted “Wait! Let me help, gotta clean that butt.” Peridot growled as she pushed Lapis out the doorway even faster and slammed the door, locking it immediately. Lapis leaned against the door and chuckled again “Butt.”

“LAPIS.”


End file.
